


Inevitable

by Lollikins



Series: Simply Meant To Be [11]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Anal, Anal Plug, Blindfolds, Bondage, Cock & Ball Torture, Dom Park Seonghwa, Emotional, M/M, Masturbation, Rough Oral Sex, Sub Kang Yeosang, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:07:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24568207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lollikins/pseuds/Lollikins
Summary: Will Yeosang discover his love for Seonghwa in time? (Series Complete)The Final Chapter
Relationships: Kang Yeosang/Park Seonghwa
Series: Simply Meant To Be [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1801804
Comments: 6
Kudos: 57





	Inevitable

Seonghwa turned his phone over in his hand contemplating the conversation he had just had with Yeosang’s girlfriend. She had come over to Yeosang’s secret apartment unannounced and had gotten more than an eyeful of Seonghwa buried balls deep in her boyfriend. She had of course, stayed to enjoy the show. She liked to watch and watch, she had. However, she got a bit more than what she bargained for. 

She wanted to see him to discuss it. 

Why she came to him instead of to Yeosang, he could guess. He was sure that she didn’t think Yeosang would ever do anything that she didn’t tell him to do. When they began this little game, that might have been true but it wasn’t anymore. He was becoming a stronger person. She had him so well trained, he was sure she couldn’t see that, or maybe she didn’t want to see it. He didn’t necessarily think she was a bad person but she didn’t really understand her boyfriend and what he wanted or needed. 

There were more than a few things he had wanted to say to her over the last year, he didn’t like the way she treated Yeosang. Yes, he wanted to be hurt and used but he was still a person. He was a beautiful, passionate, unique man who needed to feel that he was loved and from all he had seen, that was something he hadn’t felt. So, while Seonghwa probably shouldn’t have agreed to meet her, he did it anyway. 

He waited until Yeosang went for a shower before he grabbed his coat and keys and headed out to meet her. He had no intention of telling Yeosang about the meeting, if Yeosang was going to talk to her then it needed to be something between the two of them. It was already complicated enough as it was. 

She was already there when he arrived. She was a beautiful woman with an intense presence, he could see what had drawn Yeosang to her in the first place. 

“Thank you for coming out to meet me.” she said to him from the booth in which she sat. It was obviously chosen with privacy in mind. It was still early in the day so the bar only had two other customers and they were seated at the bar, far away from the table in the back corner. 

Seonghwa nodded and took a seat opposite her. “What can I do for you?” He knew exactly what she wanted but he decided to let her say her piece first. 

“I think you know that I saw you and Yeosang together.” It was obvious that he had, he stared right into her eyes as Yeosang asked Seonghwa to choke him. 

Again, he nodded. 

“I thought the agreement was that whenever you two were together, I was to watch. I didn’t think you two would be seeing each other without my being present.” 

He was quiet for a long moment, choosing his words carefully. “We agreed to certain times and places where he and I would be together and you would watch. We never agreed that would be the only time he and I would be together. I think that’s something you should discuss with him, don’t you think?” 

“I know he would _never_ go against my wishes. He brought you into this to please me after all.” 

Seonghwa’s eyes glittered as he clenched his teeth, trying to keep his temper. “Yeosang is a lot more than you think he is. I’ve held my tongue on the topic of your relationship with him, I though it wasn't my business to inject my opinions into it. However, I don’t think I can keep quiet anymore. Do you have any idea how Yeosang felt about himself before? Do you know how he feels about himself now? He is starting to find his feet and a strength within himself that he didn’t know he possessed. I want to help him find that. I want him to be able to look in the mirror and see how gorgeous he is and not see a freak looking back at him.” 

“This wasn’t just my idea. This was his desire. I did something you never did, I asked him what he wanted and this was what he wanted… he wanted us to be together.” He took a deep breath to calm himself, leaning forward to rest an elbow on the table between them. She looked stunned. “There is something very important that you’ve missed in your relationship with him, it’s consideration for Yeosang. Yes, he wants to be used but he was afraid of you. To be a good master and a good lover, there is really only one thing that matters… that’s what your partner wants and when their needs are as special as his, it matters even more. Anything else is just selfishness.” 

He really hadn’t intended on staying long, he intended to say what was on his mind and leave. That was still what he planned. He didn’t think she was a bad person and he didn’t really think that her treatment of him was deliberate, she probably thought she was giving him what he wanted because he never challenged her. But if she had been more concerned with what he wanted, then she would have known. 

“I care about him.” she said defensively. 

“Not enough. Not more than you care about yourself.” 

“Are you saying you do?” Her eyes narrowed shrewdly.

Seonghwa smiled, “Yes, I do. I care what he thinks, wants and needs. I care about his happiness. That’s the only thing I want for him, his happiness. I love everything else we do together but if he’s not happy, then what I want doesn’t matter.” 

“You’re in love with him.” she said flatly as if it was simply a matter of fact and not conjecture. 

“Yes, I am.” Seonghwa stood up, “In case you’re wondering, while I do want him for myself, I’m not doing anything at all to try to push him away from you. I just want him to know what it feels like to be cared for and loved. I don’t know where that will lead but as long as it leads to his happiness, I’m fine with that. I hope you will be as well because it might mean he leaves one or both of us behind.” 

He dropped some money on the table, “Have a drink on me.” He paused before adding. “No matter what happens, I hope you’ll think of Yeosang first. He does care for you.” 

Yeosang’s lady said nothing as she watched Seonghwa walk out of the bar. Was what he said true? Was what she saw really Yeosang’s doing? Was it what he wanted? She heard him plainly ask for Seonghwa to choke him. He was different with Seonghwa than he was with her. Was he really afraid of her? She wasn’t foolish enough to think that it was all a lie, she had seen the evidence with her own eyes. He hadn’t waited for permission to touch Seonghwa. He hadn’t waited to be told what to do. He had in fact, been a very active participant. How many times had the two men been together without her knowing? They lived together, it could have been dozens of times but they also lived with 6 other people and were extremely busy. It probably wasn’t as often as she was imagining. 

Regardless, Park Seonghwa had given her a lot to think about. 

***

Yeosang sat in his small apartment, lost in thought. His lady had called him and said she had something she wanted to talk to him about. That had been three weeks ago and he had been ridiculously busy. But he could have made time if he wanted to. It wasn’t so much that he didn’t want to see her as he wasn’t sure what he wanted to say to her. 

There was a discussion that was long overdue between them. He wasn’t sure what she wanted to talk about but she sounded as if it was fairly serious. With that in mind, he realized exactly how jumbled his emotions, his thoughts, his everything had been lately. He had brought Seonghwa into his sex life as a bid to please his lady but it had turned into something else entirely. The question was, what had it become? Where was it going? What had been little more than just sex very quickly became something else and he was responsible for that. He discovered that he didn’t just want to be someone that Park Seonghwa fucked. He wanted to be important to him. He wanted … 

Shit. 

He ran both of his hands through his hair and clasped his hands at the back of his neck. There was no point lying to himself anymore. That was what he had been doing for slightly over a year and it was getting harder and harder to keep up that pretense. Seonghwa didn’t deserve it and in truth, his lady didn’t deserve it either. 

What he wanted was Seonghwa’s love. 

What he wanted was to love him in return, actually that was a lie - he already did. He wasn’t sure exactly when he fell in love with him but he had been in love with him for quite awhile. His vicious jealousy had been evidence of that. It had been evidence of his own confusion. While he cared deeply for his lady, he realized what he felt for Seonghwa was very different. It went from the highest peaks where he was sure that he might float away to the point of his heart aching so badly he thought he might die. 

Now he knew and he couldn’t pretend anymore. 

The simple realization that he was in love had given him a perspective of his behaviour and an understanding he had previously lacked. He knew why he had been so jealous, why he had been so irrational, why so much hinged on just the man’s smile. 

Yeosang picked up his phone and opened a message to his lady. He only hesitated a moment before he typed in, “I’m at my apartment.” 

She answered a couple of minutes later that she was on her way. 

There was the familiar nervousness that settled into his gut when he knew he would see her. He pushed it away and typed a message to Seonghwa, “Are you free tonight?” 

He stared at the screen for a while but there was no answer immediately forthcoming. Instead of sitting and staring at his phone, he got up and cleaned up a bit. Seonghwa would be proud of him, cleaning with his nervous energy. 

There was a knock at the front door. 

He was kind of surprised that she didn’t just come in as she had always done before. He answered the door and invited her in. For the longest time, she just stared at him as if she were trying to plumb the depths of his very soul. He shifted nervously and looked down at his feet. Was that what she was waiting for? That was how he used to act. Now … He shook his head and looked back up, meeting her eye. “Please, have a seat. I’m glad you came, there was something I wanted to talk to you about as well.” 

Yeosang steeled his spine and did his best to push through all of his trained behavior to what he wanted to say. He had no business dating someone when he was in love with someone other than who he was dating. What was more, he realized that he had lost himself somewhere along the way. Seonghwa had helped him realize that. It was nothing that the other man had specifically said or done but in everything they had been together. He almost wished he was there for support but this was something he needed to do on his own. Before he could speak however, she asked him a question.

“Are you in love with Park Seonghwa?” The expression on her face was utterly inscrutable. 

It was strange to have someone ask him something he had just recently sorted out for himself. Was it obvious? It wasn’t as if she had seen him with Seonghwa a good deal but maybe it wasn’t Seonghwa, maybe it was him. Maybe he was just the one who was different. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out, “Yes.” 

She nodded. “I guess that’s it then.” 

“I still feel like I should say something… There was a lot I didn’t know about myself when we started. I don’t think- I don’t think that I was ready to meet that part of myself. I’ve been trying so hard to come to terms with who I am and what I want. I just buried it beneath self loathing and disgust. Lately,” he paused and looked thoughtfully into the distance. “I think I’ve started to see that what I want and what I like is okay. I feel … better. I feel better about _myself_. I’ve come a long way but I’ve still got a long way to go. Thank you for everything.” 

With a small smile, she reached up and laid a hand on his cheek. He really had changed a lot. Maybe she hadn’t wanted to see how things were out of selfishness. Maybe she had grown complacent. Whatever it was, it was obvious that things would never be how they once had. “There’s a light in you that wasn’t there before. I can see it now. I wish I had been the one to make you shine. Be happy Yeosang.” 

With that, she walked out of his apartment and was gone. 

Yeosang flopped down on the couch and closed his eyes. He felt… lighter. He had been afraid to end it, afraid that no one else would ever accept him for what he was. Now he knew that wasn’t true. Seonghwa accepted him without question, accepted all of his quirks and foibles… and kinks. 

Seonghwa… It had only been about four hours since he had seen him and he already missed him. Is this what love was supposed to be like? He didn’t even know. 

Yeosang’s phone buzzed beside him. He picked it up and saw a message from Seonghwa, “I’m outside. Can I come in?” 

“Come in.” He typed back. 

By the time Seonghwa made it to the door, Yeosang had it opened already and was waiting for him with a brilliant smile. “How did you know I was here?” 

“Well, you weren’t at home and you were asking me if I was free. I thought that must mean that you were here.” As soon as the door was shut, Seonghwa leaned in and claimed Yeosang’s lips in an intense but brief kiss before saying, “By the way… I am free all night.” 

Yeosang clung to him as a sudden and intense feeling wrapped itself around his heart. He buried his face against Seonghwa’s neck and inhaled his scent. Seonghwa always smelled clean and fresh, he smelled of home. Home was where Seonghwa was. 

Seonghwa noticed Yeosang was trembling and acting a little strangely. “Hey, hey, Yeosang look at me. Are you alright?” The expression on his face was absolutely fraught.

“I want to ask you a favor, you can say no but … Just for tonight, would you pretend you love me and make love to me?” He lifted his head to look up into Seongwha’s exquisite face. Yeosang’s eyes were overbright with unshed emotion. 

It was on the tip of Seonghwa’s tongue to assure him that he didn’t have to pretend to love him but he had the feeling that there was something else behind this. “Why?” 

Yeosang’s bottom lip quivered almost imperceptibly. As much as his heart ached for Seonghwa when he was apart from him, he knew what he needed to do, though it might just kill him. “Because I love you and tonight is our last night together. I want more than anything to stay by your side but I’ve been thinking a lot and I realize that right now, I can’t do that.” 

“It might be hard to believe but saying this is killing me. I want to be a better man. I need to be able to love myself before I can love you the way I want to. If I want us to ever have a chance, tonight…” He choked on the words and couldn’t say anything more. 

Seonghwa considered him quietly before he smiled. It was the most loving smile and it almost crushed Yeosang. A single tear slipped down Yeosang’s cheek and as he always had been, Seonghwa was there to wipe it away. He reached out and wrapped his arms around Yeosang pulling him into a warm embrace. “I am so proud of you. I don’t think I can ever tell you how much I admire you.” 

How hard it must have been for him to come to this decision. Yeosang loved him, that this could be the last time he would ever hear those words from him wasn’t what he chose to focus on. It was more that he wanted a future together so badly, he had to walk away to give it a chance to happen. Seonghwa looked up at the ceiling and blinked back the tears that threatened, squeezing the man he adored tightly. He wanted to tell him that he loved him but he couldn’t add that weight to his shoulders. Instead, he took a deep breath and leaned back to look into Yeosang’s eyes. “I wish you could see how beautiful you are to me right now.” 

Yeosang drew a shaky breath, his bright eyes locked with his lover’s, “Make love to me, if just for ton-...”

Not giving him a chance to finish, Seonghwa leaned in and sealed his words with a heartfelt kiss. No one knew what the future would bring, but tonight he would show Yeosang every ounce of love and passion that was his to give. Even if it would be the last time, he would love him with everything he was. It all belonged to Yeosang, whether he knew or not, he hoped he could make him feel it. Yeosang melted against him, their kisses became gasps and breathless sighs. 

Seonghwa’s lips trailed over Yeosang’s jaw, nipping at his earlobe, down the side of his neck. The sweater that Yeosang was wearing slipped down over his shoulder and the heat of Seonghwa’s tongue trailed along his exposed collar bone, “You’re so fucking beautiful, every… single… inch of you.” The sweater was pulled up over Yeosang’s head and discarded onto the nearby couch. Yeosang’s fingers fumbled with the buttons on his lover’s shirt, at this moment when all he wanted was his naked heat, they were far too small and fiddly. With a little help, he managed to get his shirt off. Immediately, he bowed his head to drag his lips across his golden skin, tongue laving Seonghwa’s small dark nipples, down over his ribs, his flat stomach. 

“Let’s go to bed.” Seonghwa said in a sultry low tone. 

Yeosang nodded and caught Seonghwa’s hand, lacing their fingers together, he pulled him with him toward the bed. It was a place they had spent many hours and he doubted he would ever be able to lay there without thinking of the time they spent together. Of course, he never wanted to forget, not a single moment of it and tonight, he wanted to build memories that would last his lifetime. 

Yeosang watched with hungry eyes as Seonghwa removed the remains of both of their clothes. Again, his heart squeezed in his chest and tears threatened but he swallowed against the lump in his throat and fought back through the tears, pulling his lover down atop him on the bed. 

Seonghwa wasn’t rough, he was achingly sweet and gentle. Whereas he had always been the one worshipped, now he was the one who worshipped the man he loved. He kissed, tasted, and adored every inch down to his toes and back again. Yeosang was near mindlessness as he felt Seonghwa wrap his fingers around both of their cocks and stroke them together. “Please…” Yeosang rocked up, fucking against the nimble caress of his lover’s fingers. 

“Please what baby?” Seonghwa’s lips brushed against Yeosang’s ear, the warmth of his voice sending a shiver down his spine. “Tell me what you want.”

“I w-want you inside me. Make love to me…” 

Dragging his lips from Yeosang’s ear to his mouth, kissing him as he released his grip and shifted so that they lay on their sides facing one another. Just like the first time, Seonghwa took his time, grinding, rocking, pressing forward only to pull away. Frustration slowly building so that Yeosang was ready to force himself onto the cock that toyed with him but he waited, enjoying the encroaching madness. At long last, when he pressed forward, Seonghwa didn’t pull away, instead he pressed in and slowly hilted himself. 

“I love you.” Yeosang whispered over and over against Seonghwa’s lips, it was a litany, it was worship. The words he denied himself all these months, the words he might never be able to say again, he said them now. He tasted his own tears on his lover’s lips and sucked them from his tongue. He wrapped his legs around Seonghwa’s slender hips and met each thrust with his own. 

What Yeosang didn’t realize was that they weren’t his tears he tasted alone, they mingled with Seonghwa’s. With his heart breaking as his body soared, Seonghwa opened himself to Yeosang as he had never opened himself to anyone before. As the first tendrils of molten sugar swirled down into his balls, swelling his cock, he crushed his lips against Yeosang’s and wrapped his fingers around his cock, stroking. “Come with me.” he whispered against him. 

Yeosang jerked as he peaked, the tight sheath of his body convulsing around Seonghwa deep inside him and together they came, spending their passions in love. 

***

It was late in the day when Yeosang finally opened his eyes. He wasn’t sure what time it was when he fell asleep only that he had fought it for every last second. Despite what he said and what he knew needed to be, he never wanted last night to end. If he hadn’t known better, he would have truly believed that Park Seonghwa loved him. 

It didn’t take long for him to realize that he was in bed alone. 

In truth, it was what he expected. He reached out and ran a hand over the pillow where Seonghwa’s head had rested a few hours previous. It was cold but there was something there. He turned and looked, it was a flower, a pink carnation. Yeosang sat up and picked up the flower, twirling it between his fingers. He couldn’t remember what a pink carnation symbolized but he knew somehow that Seonghwa would. He picked up his phone and looked up the meaning, “I will never forget you.” 

He read the words aloud and the dam broke. He cried harder than he had ever cried before in his life. 

It was hours before he was able to pull himself together enough to go home. Seonghwa wasn’t around. When he asked, he was told that he was at the office, working with Hongjoong. 

The strangest thing was how unnervingly normal everything was. There didn’t seem to be any awkwardness on Seonghwa’s part which made it easier to acclimatize to the new status quo and harder to believe that the previous year wasn’t some sort of fever dream. There were still times where he thought he caught a hint of sadness in Seonghwa’s eyes but it never lasted and it was usually so brief that he doubted himself. Whether he had loved him or not, what they shared was special and he knew that his one time lover cherished those memories as he did. 

Time slipped by, pouring like sand through a sieve. Their careers grew as did their popularity. They all agreed fairly early on that when it came time for Seonghwa and Hongjoong to do their service, they would all go. It was hard to imagine the group with any single member missing but he was sure that if they tried to carry on without ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ there would have only been a smoldering ruin where the house had once stood. 

As that time raced toward them, they each worked on different projects, testing the waters for solo careers, acting, modeling, or all of the above in some cases. Still unsure whether or not they would try to carry on with the group after service, they all went. 

Despite the years that had intervened, he never stopped thinking of Seonghwa and not for a single moment did he stop missing him. Did he regret what he had done? Every minute of every single day that had passed. But what was done was done and he was still convinced it needed to happen. Now he was confident, sure, though still a little on the shy side and still very much an introvert. He appreciated himself and didn’t even try to cover his birthmark unless it was for the camera. He could look in the mirror and love what he saw. 

It had been so long though. How could he go to Seonghwa now? What if he had someone else? He hadn’t heard of him getting married or living with anyone. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know, he didn’t think he could take it. He knew Wooyoung would have told him because he still saw him regularly. He didn’t even have his number, should he ask for it? He remembered something from a drama… someone talking about timing. Maybe their time was over and he really should try to move on but how could he? He closed his eyes and remembered the ghost of Seonghwa. 

***

Hongjoong looked surprised when he opened the door, “You’re early. Is something wrong?” 

Yeosang looked down at the phone in his hand, he was early but he had been planning for traffic and there wasn’t any. “No, nothing’s wrong. There was just no traffic. I thought it would be bumper to bumper this time of day.” 

“Oh, well come on in. I haven’t had a chance to take a shower yet.” It looked like he had been working out or maybe practicing. “Make yourself at home, there’s stuff to drink in the fridge, help yourself.” 

Yeosang looked around and right beside the door there was a giant stack of boxes. “What’s all this?” 

“Oh, that’s Park Seonghwa’s. He stored it here while he was waiting for them to finish his new place. Have you seen it yet? It’s really nice, very him.” Hongjoong wiped his face with a towel and shagged it over his hair. “I’m gonna hit the shower. I’ll be back in a bit.” 

Yeosang nodded and looked curiously at the boxes. Seonghwa… Each box was painstakingly labeled in his precise and fluid hand. He would know his handwriting anywhere. He took a look toward the bathroom and heard the shower start. He knew he probably shouldn’t snoop but … He leaned to peek into the top box. It was folded together rather than sealed and he could just see in. For a moment he thought he saw something that looked like his name. He lifted up the edge of the cardboard and looked, it _was_ his name.

There was an envelope that said, “Kang Yeosang”. Why was there a letter to him? Should he open it? It had his name on it after all… His curiosity won out in the end. He pulled it out and opened it. 

“ _They changed your hair today and I couldn’t help but notice the way that a single curl kissed your brow. I imagined kissing that very spot as I brushed it away. My fingers actually itched with the need to do it. But I didn’t dare. It’s still as hard as it was that first day. I still wonder if I should have told you I loved you. I loved you then and I love you now. I know it’s nothing but a dream but I still have a little fantasy I keep in my heart that one day you’ll walk into my room and tell me that your heart has chosen me. Maybe I just watch too many dramas but I don’t think I am the type of man who loves more than once. I don’t know how to let you go. I don’t even want to. I miss you, Kang Yeosang. I love you._ ” 

A teardrop fell onto the paper, causing the ink to bleed. Yeosang read it over and over again. He clutched it to his chest and turned back to the box. Without caring if he should be snooping or not, he ripped the top of the box open and looked. The entire box was filled with letters, all with his name on them. Some of the envelopes looked like they might burst, they were so stuffed. Others were slim and obviously no more than a page. He pulled out envelope after envelope and glanced at the contents, they each closed with some variant of _I miss you and I love you_. 

How had he written so many? He checked the dates and it looked like there might have been at least one letter a week written, maybe more. That was when he noticed the date on the letter he was holding was about three weeks previous. His knees gave out dumping him unceremoniously to the ground. He could barely breathe, the thundering of his heart in his ears was all he could hear. He needed to see him. He needed to see him **_now_**. He jumped up and ran towards the bathroom and yanked open the door. Hongjoong yelped and jumped nearly a foot as he hurriedly reached to cover himself with a towel. “Where’s Park Seonghwa?” 

“Well he’s not here!” Hongjoong answered in a pithy tone. 

“I know that but where is he?” He wasn’t in the mood to play games. He had to see him. 

“Uh … I don’t know. I haven’t talked to him for a few days. He’s probably working I’d guess. If you go into my office, there’s a leather notebook in my desk, top left drawer. Everyone’s information is in there, if you can’t get his cell phone then try his agency.” He wasn’t sure what was going on but it sounded like an emergency. 

“Thank you.” Yeosang closed the bathroom door then reopened it, “Oh, I can’t go to dinner. I’ll see you later.” The door slammed again. 

Hongjoong stared at the door. He heard what sounded like Yeosang going to the office, rummaging around and then running across the apartment and out of the front door. “I have no idea what just happened.” He commented to himself. 

On the way out, Yeosang grabbed the box of letters that were addressed to him. They were his, whether Seonghwa meant to give them to him or not, they were his and he cherished every word that he read and those he hadn’t yet had the chance to read. He called Seonghwa’s home number and cell number to no avail. Of course, Seonghwa didn’t have Yeosang’s new number and it would come across as an unknown number - which he probably wouldn’t answer. Shit. 

As a last resort, he called his agency and after a lot of back and forth and convincing the rather terse woman on the other end of the phone that it was a dire family emergency, he found that he was on site doing a photoshoot. He got the address and drove out to meet him. 

***

It had been a long day and it was freezing. Honestly, he didn’t mind shooting outside when he didn’t need to keep hand warmers in his pockets to keep the frostbite away. They were taking a break because it started snowing, the first of the year and it was very nearly a blizzard. If it kept up, they would probably cancel and postpone the shoot until the weather cleared. Seonghwa sat in his trailer in front of the mirror, touching up his makeup. He looked at his phone and noticed there were a lot of calls from an unknown number. Normally, he didn’t answer unknown numbers but whoever was calling him either had the wrong number and it might be an emergency or they had the right number and it was an emergency. They hadn’t left any messages. He frowned down at the screen, it wasn’t even like he could call the number back as it was restricted. 

There was a quick light knock on the door and it opened, “Did it stop snow-...” The words froze on his tongue as he saw Kang Yeosang standing in the door, his hair dotted with glistening specks of rapidly melting snow. “Yeosang?” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked as he walked in, closing and locking the door behind him. 

Seonghwa stood up and looked at him in confusion, “Tell you?” 

Yeosang pulled a familiar looking envelope out of his pocket and held it up, “Why didn’t you tell me you were in love with me?” Although in hindsight, it was so obvious in everything he did, in the way he treated him. 

“I-” This was not what he was expecting. He had written the first letter to try and soothe the ache, to tell him everything he felt, everything he wanted to say but without the weight of Yeosang’s knowledge. He kept writing because he found it cathartic and maybe a tiny part of him imagined him reading them one day. He never imagined it happening like this. He took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders, “I’m in love with you Kang Yeosang. I have been since long before the day we said goodbye.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I thought … I thought you didn’t love me. I thought most of what I thought we had was all me, projecting what I wanted you to feel onto my memories. I have loved you every hour, every minute of every day and wanted to run to you but … What am I saying?” He crossed the trailer to stand in front of Seonghwa. He reached out and took the other man’s hand raising it to the back of his head and fisting his hand in his hair. “You’re the one, the only one. What was it you said you dreamed of me saying? My heart’s chosen you Park Seonghwa and it doesn’t know how to choose anyone else.” 

Seonghwa let out a shuddering breath and looked away, blinking rapidly. When he looked back, Yeosang was smiling at him. “What are you waiting for? Do you need me to tell you how much I want you to fuck my face? Do you need me to tell you how much I want you to force your cock into my throat? Do you not know how much I want you to make love to me while I cry for what only you can give me? I said it before and I didn’t understand but I understand now, I want everything from you.” 

The hand in Yeosang’s hair tightened and he hissed between clenched teeth at the pulling of his hair as he was yanked forward into a brutal soul searing kiss. There was no slow building of passions, the spark instantly ignited between them and they were enveloped in the resulting conflagration. It had been so long, craving the other’s touch, hungering for their kiss. Now, almost frantic, Yeosang reached for the hem of Seonghwa’s shirt, pushing it up and then returning to his waist to unfasten his belt. 

Seonghwa nibbled at Yeosang’s lips as he reached for Yeosang’s hands. He laced their fingers together and brought the other man’s hands to rest against his chest. “Do you know how many times I’ve thought of this moment? All of the things I wanted to do to you, all of the things I wanted to do with you? Did you think about me when you jerked off? Did you wish it was my fingers wrapped around you?” 

As he asked his question, his hand slid down over Yeosang’s bare chest, over his stomach to trail along the outline of his still hidden cock. “I used to imagine you stroking your cock, thinking about me while I was thinking about you. I still remember that first time watching you. I forgot all about the eyes on us and it was only you and me, it was so beautiful all I could think about was everything I wanted to do to you but I didn’t think you’d want me there again but you did. Show me … Like you did it the first time, cum for me.” 

Yeosang groaned and rocked his hips forward, wanting Seonghwa’s touch. Everything he said, every word he spoke stoked the fire that was already raging inside of him. Their affair had been relatively brief but everytime he made himself cum, Seonghwa was there with him, the feeling of his body behind him, the weight of his eyes on him, the heat of his breath on his neck. He peeled off the rest of his clothes and took a seat on the couch in the small room, spreading his legs, displaying himself for the gaze that burned into him. Seonghwa leaned back against the vanity and watched, his hand massaging his cock through the strained denim of his jeans. His breathing grew a little more shallow as he bit his bottom lip. The sound of his zipper was loud as he dipped his hand into his jeans. Their motions mirrored each other as they watched each other, just a few paces away. 

With Seonghwa’s name on his lips, his hand pumped faster. “Oh god, Seonghwa. Do you want me to cum?” 

There was no way either of them would last, “Cum for me baby…” 

Yeosang’s eyes locked with Seonghwa’s as he came, wave after seemingly endless wave of pleasure tore through him. Still panting as Seonghwa closed the distance between them and pressed the leaking head of his cock between Yeosang’s lips. Ravenously, he opened his mouth, eagerly wrapping his lips around him. His head bobbed up and down, the glistening length sliding between his lips. “I love the way you suck my cock baby.”

Yeosang leaned his head back, pushing up to choke himself on his lover’s cock. God it had been so long, immediately he gagged, the muscles of his throat involuntarily squeezing. Seonghwa half bent over his head as his balls settled against Yeosang’s delicious lips. Unable to stop himself, he grabbed a handful of Yeosang’s silken blonde locks and fucked hard and deep. He growled as he fucked, the little bit of control he had fell by the wayside and he came, spurting hot seed into Yeosang’s throat, across his tongue as he pulled back into his mouth. A single line of cum smeared across his lover’s lips and across one cheek. 

“So pretty …” Seonghwa immediately leaned down and lapped at his cum, his tongue slipping between his lover’s lips, supping on his tongue, biting his lips. 

Yeosang licked his lips and whispered, “I want more.” 

Seonghwa smiled, “Do you? What do you want? I want to hear you say it.” He brushed his thumb across those sticky lips. 

“I want you to hurt me. I want you to make me scream but …” He cast an eye toward the door. “Do you think anyone would hear us?” 

Seonghwa winced, he had forgotten that they weren’t entirely alone. It was probably just as well that Yeosang hadn’t because he didn’t have any toys, devices, or most importantly, lube with him. “I got carried away but I’d like to be carried further.” He looked as if something suddenly occurred to him. “Come home with me. I won’t let you go again.”

“I won’t let you, let me go again.” Yeosang leaned in and dragged his lips over the glistening skin over Seonghwa’s pulse on the side of his neck. When he flicked his tongue, he could feel the thrumming life of the man he loved. He closed his eyes and inhaled the clean scent of his sweat, tasting the salt of his skin. Seonghwa’s hands played in his hair and over his bare skin. “I am home. Wherever you are is home and it’s where I want to be.”

Yeosang cocked his head to one side and looked up, “Take me home.” 

A slow smile crept over Seonghwa’s lips. He couldn’t have imagined hearing sweeter words. He nodded and leaned back on the couch, pulling his lover into his arms, he opened the blinds, just enough for them to see out. “It’s the first snow.” 

You were always supposed to watch the first snow with someone you loved. This was the first time in more than a decade of knowing one another, they had been able to watch the first snow together. They watched in silence, reveling in the heat of the other’s body, the quiet sound of their breathing the only accompaniment to the gentle hush of the falling snow. It really didn’t look like it was going to be letting up any time soon and if anything, it was just falling harder and faster. There was a knock on the door and Seonghwa bolted upright, almost knocking Yeosang to the floor as he grabbed a robe. “Just a minute!” 

He leaned over and looked in the mirror, his makeup was a lost cause. He quickly grabbed a makeup wipe and scrubbed as much of it off as possible. Yeosang snickered behind him as there was another knock. Seonghwa threw the used makeup wipe at Yeosang who dodged it neatly and fell back down onto the couch, content in his nakedness. Seonghwa shot him an annoyed look before opening the door. Luckily, it opened so as to block the couch from view. 

“Oh did someone already tell you that we’re postponing the shoot?” 

“When I saw the snow falling harder, I guessed. So I thought I’d go ahead and change.” Seonghwa lied smoothly. 

“I guess you’re anxious to get back. I hope it’s nothing too serious.” 

“Serious?” Seonghwa questioned. 

“The family emergency. I heard that you had one of your cousins looking for you because of a family emergency.” 

With absolutely no idea what the assistant was talking about, he kept it as vague as possible. He could only assume it was something to do with Yeosang, “My cousin has a strange sense of what’s an emergency. It was minor.” 

“Oh, alright. I’m off this next week so I’ll see you for your audition on the 22nd. Good luck on your drive home, it’s really coming down, I’d hurry before the roads get worse.” 

Seonghwa closed the door and leaned against it. “My cousin?” 

“That’s not usually one of my kinks but I was desperate to see you and you weren’t answering my calls.” Yeosang sat up and began to pull on his clothes. From the way the snow was falling, if they didn’t leave soon, they probably wouldn’t be leaving at all and as cozy as the trailer was, it didn’t look like it had all the amenities of home. 

“I didn’t know it was you. You could have left a message and I would have called you back.” Seonghwa dressed as well. 

“I couldn’t wait. The moment I realized you loved me, that you always had it seemed like it was life and death. If I had been thinking more clearly, I could have asked Hyung Hongjoong to call you for me so that you’d answer the phone but I had to see you face to face and it had to be right then.” Yeosang pulled on his coat and paused to look in the mirror. He was in need of a shower, he was still quite sweaty but what he really wanted was to be alone with Seonghwa. Somewhere there was food, a bed, a shower, and where there would be no interruptions. 

Five minutes later, Seonghwa was driving extremely carefully down the snow covered mountain roads. The further down they got, the better the roads became and the less snow that covered them. 

“Yeosang.” 

Yeosang had been lost in his own thoughts, it seemed like a miracle had taken place. Yesterday, he didn’t. Today, he did and tomorrow he still would. All of the pain they had put themselves through and now … now they could finally be together. He looked up at the soft mention of his name. “Yes?” 

“If you meant what you said … if you want to, I want you to move in with me.” It wasn’t as if they hadn’t lived together before. He had a house, newly renovated that would more than comfortably work for the two of them. 

Trying not to squeal in delight, he beamed a smile and reached to take Seonghwa’s hand. “You mean it? I want to. I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be.” 

***

His body was stretched, bound, and tortured. 

Sweat dripped from the strands of hair that hung down to obscure his face and soaked the blindfold that covered his eyes. He had been there for what seemed hours. A weighted plug stretched his ass. An intricate cock and ball harness kept him obscenely hard. He gasped as he was pulled back against his lover, his master, his life’s long lean body, rope biting into his flesh. His head fell back against Seonghwa’s shoulder. He screamed as the flat of Seonghwa’s elegant fingers slapped his rigid cock. 

Teeth at his ear, biting his neck, his shoulder, that would leave a mark. It was a mark he no longer had to worry would be seen, a mark he no longer had to explain to anyone. He whimpered and leaned his head to the side to allow his lover better access. He loved it when Seonghwa marked him. Every scrape, bruise, and scar was evidence of their love. 

“I love it when you scream for me.” His fingers tightened around Yeosang’s balls. Yeosang tried to pull away but with his lover’s body behind him there was nowhere to go. He made a choking sound gagging on the pain. A strangled cry was ripped from his already raw throat. Still Yeosang rocked his hips, grinding his already full ass back against Seonghwa’s cock. “You act like you want something, do you want something from me baby?” 

“Fuck… me.” 

“You want my cock?” Seonghwa asked in a throaty whisper. 

Yeosang nodded, “I want … You… Inside.” It was getting harder to talk as he slipped further and further into that place where pure sensation lived. Pleasure and pain mingled into something else, darker, more primal, more real. He turned his head toward Seonghwa, his tongue flicking against his jaw, “Kiss…” He breathed. 

Seonghwa kissed him, deep, wet, passionate. He shifted around on the bed, moving between Yeosang’s bound and spread thighs. He was beautiful with his muscles straining, sweat running down his pale golden skin, his cock was near to bursting with the need to cum and his baby was so hungry, so needing of him. 

He untied the ropes that bound Yeosang’s ankles and thighs so that he could wrap his legs around him and pulled off his blindfold. He wanted to see his eyes now. His hand slipped down between his lover’s thighs, Yeosang whimpered and arched toward his touch. He slipped the toy from his body. 

“Seonghwa…” There was a pleading note in his voice. 

It drove him insane to see him reduced to his basest desires, lost to anything other than the need that currently consumed him. It was all for him. He lowered himself down, gently pushing Yeosang back with the weight of his body. His own need was a voracious beast that drove him forward into his lover’s open and waiting body. Yeosang’s head slammed back against the pillow and he half growled and half screamed. His legs tightened around Seonghwa’s hips and he fought against the ropes that still bound his arms. Seonghwa freed him and Yeosang wrapped his arms around his lover as well, wanting to feel every inch of their skin together. Seonghwa reached between them and unfastened the cock and ball harness and began to stroke. 

Yeosang went wild with the intensity of the sensation. He bit and scratched, tears sliding down over his birthmark, Seonghwa lapped at his tears. He lowered his lips to Yeosang’s ear and whispered, “Cum for me.” 

His hips slammed up, fucking himself on the cock embedded deeply inside him. An animalistic roar was torn from him painfully and violently. Seonghwa grabbed a handful of his hair and held his head still, their eyes locked as he hammered home into him, once, twice, and one final time. He pumped Yeosang full again and again, it felt like it would never end. He lowered his forehead to Yeosang’s and brushed a feather soft kiss over his lips. “I love you.” 

Yeosang smiled, beatific and beautiful.

Seonghwa removed the rest of the ropes and tossed them aside before wrapping his arms around Yeosang. He knew that moving was out of the question for a little while and he was fine with that. It had taken them a little while to find out but there wasn’t just making love and fucking. Sometimes they wanted nothing more than gentle pleasure and comfort and other times, they spent hours reveling in their own special brand of love. Most times they straddled the line, elements of both present in their time together. As long as they loved one another and cared for what the other wanted and needed, it was all love making. 

Yeosang sighed blissfully and snuggled closer murmuring, “Cold.” 

Seonghwa chuckled, “You’re going to have to stay cold. If I let you get warm then I won’t get you out of bed to take a bath. Come on.” 

Yeosang pouted adorably and tried to hide his face against Seonghwa’s neck. 

With a little cajoling, he managed to get Yeosang into the bathtub where he washed his hair and massaged his tired and aching muscles. Afterward, he dried his body and his hair, then changed the sheets before tucking him in like a small child. By the time Seonghwa slipped into bed beside him, Yeosang was coherent again and was watching him with warm adoration. “It’s our anniversary tomorrow.” 

“I know.” Seonghwa dragged his thumb down along Yeosang’s spine which caused him to shiver against him. Seonghwa chuckled and kissed his nose. “This will be our third.” 

As far as Seonghwa was concerned, it was the biggest day of the year. The day that his lover gave himself over to him was the most precious to him. 

“Did you get me something?” Yeosang looked up at him hopefully.

“You know I did.” 

Yeosang continued to look at him hopefully. 

“You’re hoping I’ll tell you what it is or give it to you early?” Seonghwa asked. 

“Would I do that?” He tried to look innocent and failed utterly.

“Yes.” He squeezed him tight. He concentrated on the firm, tight length of his lover’s body in his arms. As long as he had been without him, he refused to let even the most minor of things pass him by without notice. “You forget, I know you well.” 

“You know me better than anyone else and for that …” Yeosang turned away and opened the drawer in the bedside table. He pulled out a small flat box and handed it to him.

Seonghwa took the box with a look of genuine surprise. “You’re not going to wait until tomorrow then?” 

Yeosang pointed to the clock which read 00:02, “It is tomorrow.” 

“As much as you say you aren’t romantic, you’re very romantic.” 

“I’m not romantic but the man I love is… which I guess that does make me a romantic as well.” He shook his head and pressed Seonghwa, “Open it.” 

Seonghwa opened the box and there on a slim gold chain was a tiny flower with a red stone at its heart. He looked up at Yeosang curiously. 

“It’s a camellia.” He hoped he was right, he had not only asked at three florist’s shops but checked online on about five different sites before he had the necklace made. Red camellias represented being in love and admiration. It was hard to think of anyone he admired more than Seonghwa and there was no one he loved more. 

Seonghwa looked again at the tiny flower with the brilliant red heart. He touched his finger to the tiny blossom. He felt his eyes welling up and he waved his hand at his face as he tried to keep from crying. He quickly gave up and just leaned in to kiss Yeosang. “Thank you, I love you too. This is so beautiful. I’ll cherish it... it makes me wish I got you something more romantic.” 

“You give me so much. You give me everything, everyday. I could never ask you for more. All I can do is love you. I’m helpless against it.” He was curious now though. “What did you get me?”

“I got you two things, one that I know you wanted and one that I wanted to give you.” Seonghwa got out of bed and put on his robe before heading out of the room. He came back with two envelopes and a small bag. 

Yeosang sat up and took the proffered items. He started to open one of the envelopes, “Read it when I’m not here, I’d be embarrassed.” 

“Don’t be silly.” Still, he set it aside and opened the second one. It took him several seconds before he realized what he was looking at. It was the deed to the house, “What’s this?” 

“I know it’s probably more symbolic than anything but I’m giving you half of the house. Now you own half of my life and I own half of yours. It’s important to me that you know that without you, my life is only … half.” 

Yeosang ran his fingers over the contract. Seonghwa had an uncanny way of making paper, the most mundane of objects, into the most romantic and meaningful things. First there were all of his beautiful letters and then this. Now he was the one who was fighting back tears. “Seonghwa… I am so lucky to have you in my life and to have your love.” 

“I was afraid you might not like it…” 

“How could I not love it, you gave it to me with your whole heart.” He closed his eyes and leaned his head forward against Seonghwa’s shoulder. He was content to stay there the whole night and the next day if need be. Then he remembered the bag and he sat up and opened it. He pulled out a small leather collar. He held it up to his neck and growled. It didn’t remotely fit him but he lifted his hand and made a scratching motion and gave a cute face. 

“It’s not for _you_ to wear but if you really want I can get you one that fits…” 

All of the sudden it clicked and Yeosang’s head snapped up, “You got me a puppy?!” 

“She’ll be here tomorrow or … today.” Yeosang launched himself at Seonghwa, knocking him over onto his back and kissing him soundly. Seonghwa laughed and rolled with him onto their sides facing each other. 

They had come so far, through pain and laughter, sorrow and bliss. They had come so close to losing the best thing they could ever have, true love. There would still be trials and hardships but they knew they could overcome them … together.


End file.
